At this time of year, I am often asked if I think Santa Claus might have obstructive sleep apnea? For years I have enjoyed a close working relationship with the gentleman and his elves. I cannot say for certain that he has sleep apnea. I do remember that on one Christmas day, a daughter of mine did not receive the gift she was sure Santa would not forget, but did.
Forgetfulness can be a sign of memory loss associated with untreated obstructive sleep apnea. I am quite familiar with the “missing present” episode but I think Santa just got overworked that year. It happens.
But, does Mr. Claus fit the guidelines of a person, real or fictional, that would likely have obstructive sleep apnea?
If Donner, Dasher, or Vixen happened to mash one of Santa’s toes, and he had to go to the hospital for surgery, prior to getting it fixed, he would be given the STOP BANG QUESTIONNAIRE. This is the test patients are given by anesthesiologists before putting someone to sleep.
As a jolly and kindly old elf, he is the poster child for someone having sleep apnea. How did he get that way?
My guess is all of the cookies and milk he eats in just one trip. Can you image what he might weigh if he delivered toys and goodies twice a year? And another thing…he doesn’t do the work building toys. Notice how skinny the elves are, well most of them anyway. They are the ones that saw, shape, glue, fit and finish the toys.
I would bet you that Santa just sits around on a big couch all day, pointing his finger—“Do this, now do that.” “When’s lunch?” “What’s for dinner?” Geez…My suspicions were confirmed when I saw a TV commercial he’s in for Mercedes Benz…
Have you seen it? If you haven’t this is his biggest job—he’s pointing to a list and shipping a white Benz to the “good list,” and a red Benz to his “naughty list!” I knew he spent most of his time at the North Pole pointing.
And who says you have to be naughty to have a red Mercedes Benz? Don’t get me started on the ways that’s totally bogus.
Do I think Santa needs a sleep study? You bet! And for all of those Santa Claus’ that are reading this post, if you have been sitting around, “pointing” most of the year, and look anything like your namesake, it might be a good idea to get a study so you can be around next year.
One more thing…don’t ever forget that one present. Our Santa Claus is reminded yearly about it.
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!